Perception
by K Mirage
Summary: One of Dean's experiences torturing someone in Hell. One-shot story.


It was time again. He could feel it coming and he wanted to give anything to not have to do this again. Well, almost anything. As he looked down at his hands he saw the blood from the last episode still caked on his fingers. He didn't bother to clean them and even if he did he wouldn't know where to do it. It wasn't like Hell had bathrooms waiting just for you to clean up after every session. He could feel the blood that had dried on his face long ago and he just tried to ignore the feeling. He was pretty sure the demons wanted him to feel it. Know what he did at all times.

Dean fingered the scalpel in his hands watching the light glint off the small parts that weren't covered in the man's blood. The man who came to hell because he made a deal. Made a deal for his mother to live instead of dying with cancer. Dean thought that something like that would have sent you to Heaven for the sacrifice you made. Apparently Dean didn't know anything about Hell and Heaven's acceptance regulations.

"Please. Help me." Dean didn't turn at the girl's pleas knowing he would be making her scream in no time. He couldn't remember how long it was since he accepted getting off the rack. He did remember saying yes to torturing others instead of taking it. He still remembered the pain he was feeling when he finally cracked. It didn't seem long until he finally couldn't take the pain anymore. He couldn't take his brother cutting him up with Alastair standing behind him and smirking the whole time. Some part of his mind knew it wasn't his brother but he wasn't strong enough to deny it any longer. He wouldn't see his brother's face in Hell again if he had anything to say about it.

"Someone help me!" Dean finally turned and saw the woman chained to the rack frantically searching for help. Dean flipped the scalpel through his fingers as he walked towards the woman's sobbing form. She was small and looked so fragile. She pulled against the chains but Dean knew that would do no good. No matter how hard she would try she wouldn't escape. She was in Dean's hands and he was willing to hurt her so he wouldn't be hurt in her place.

"Please. Don't hurt me." Dean lifted his hand and brushed her sweaty hair away from her face. She shivered under his touch and Dean felt Alastair enter the room behind him. Every time his teacher showed up it put Dean on edge wondering what he wanted. Alastair never wanted to just watch. He liked to take a more active part in the torture.

"Dean. A moment." Dean left the woman weeping on the rack and came to stand before Alastair. The demon looked behind the Winchester to the woman before clapping his hand onto Dean's shoulder.

"Your brother killed another demon. This demon I knew."

"I'm sorry." Dean never knew what to say when Alastair told him about demons dying. He didn't know if he wanted sympathy or for him to curse his brother to the deep levels of Hell.

"I should torture my hatred for your brother out of your flesh. Should I do that Dean?"

"Do what you wish." Dean felt the chills through his body as he kept staring at the ground knowing he shouldn't look the demon in the eye. Never look a demon in the eye. They will cut an apology out of you over and over again.

"It's okay Dean. I won't hurt you. I have hurt you enough. Are you ready to torture this young woman?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes Master."

"Of course you're ready. Now get started. I would like to watch your skill." Dean bowed deeper than he was at the moment before going to stand before the woman. She was still crying and the tears made tracks down her face through the ash that covered her cheeks. She was shaking her head no as if she denied it then she wouldn't feel it.

"Help me. Please." Her eyes were pleading with him to spare her but Dean knew he couldn't. He couldn't or he would be on the rack in a second. He lifted his arm and the scalpel shined against the flames of Hell. Her eyes grew big at the sight of it and they grew even bigger when Dean placed it against her stomach.

"No. Don't." Dean pushed it through her skin and she screamed loud and piercing. Dean knew this was an easy one. He remembered holding out for a while before he screamed and she was one slice in and all ready letting all of Hell know. He felt her blood flow over his hand as her screams turned into whimpers. Whimpers and crying. Dean pulled the scalpel out of her stomach and watched as her blood ran down the tip of it to fall on the ground.

"Dean. Step it up." Alastair's voice was calm yet it seemed like he was yelling at Dean. Yelling at him for his lack of effort. In response Dean took the scalpel and sliced along the woman's stomach having his head filled with her screams. She didn't stop screaming this time. She yelled for names that Dean didn't know. Names that were important to her and no other. Dean felt Alastair come up behind him and the demon's hand landed again on his shoulder.

"Dean. You need to make her scream and weep. Weep for her husband. Weep for her mother. Weep for you to stop. I want her tears to flood the floor. I want her blood to stain your arms all the way to your elbows." His hand tightened on Dean's shoulder. "Do you understand?"

"Yes Master."

"Good. Now make me proud."

Dean felt Alastair step away from him into the background to watch. Dean continued into the woman with more vigor and he was happy that Alastair didn't step in again. Before the end the woman was begging for him to kill her but even if he did she would just come back. Come back for him to continue the torture. Dean wondered how long he could keep this up. He sold his soul for his brother and he never regretted it. There were times he forgot how he ended up in Hell. How he came to this torture. But then Alastair would come upon him with an image of Sam and Dean would remember. Using Sam's form was meant to hurt him but it just reminded him of how he wound up in Hell. Why he should stay strong and endure the torture. The woman has been quiet for a while now and Dean's arms were covered in blood. Blood that felt warm and was slowly dripping off of his fingertips.

"Did you enjoy that?" Dean was surprised that Alastair stayed the whole time but he felt himself nodding in response to his question.

"Good. You are my favorite Dean. We will do great things together." Dean thought about what else Alastair forced him to do but he tried not to think of it for too long. He pictured the one thing that kept him sane and he tried to hide his content. Sam's face and voice filled his mind and he prayed that he was safe. That was the only thing that kept Dean going and the only thing that he kept close to his heart. That was the only thing that mattered to Dean and he would hold onto that for as long as he could.


End file.
